January 12, 2011

The Hat

Why did you do THAT?

Why would ANYONE do THAT? 

It's MY hat, mama.  Sister took my hat.  It's MY hat. 

Do you like the hat?  NO.  Will you wear the hat?  NO. 

Why did you pull the dangling pretty things out of the hat?  I WANTED A NORMAL HAT.

But your sister liked the hat and needs it for school and you tore it up.  That's not nice.  

I'm sorry.  I won't ever tear up the hat again.

True, but the hat's all torn up now, so that's not really an I'm sorry, is it?  *sigh*  da Mama is frustrated because da Mama went !boom! right around the time the sister whined that her hat had been torn apart by frustration boy.  He was mad because she liked it and had worn it to school after he abandoned it because he didn't like it and wouldn't wear it.  I wanted to eat sushi.  Instead, I'm using the chopsticks wrapper as a makeshift crochet hook, pulling the dangly things back through the tiny holes in THE HAT and re-twisting the dangling things so the hat could be returned to a state of normal for her but abnormal for him while I tried to demonstrate by threatening to "tear up your teriyaki" how having the nice thing you just got brand new all torn up because someone is mad is a painful thing and there he goes.... waterworks, remorse, begging me not to tear up his teriyaki...(thinking to myself, how would one do that in the first place, why DO you let your mouth run away with you *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* so this is another of those stellar moments in parenting and WHY would they make the holes on this stupid hat so small, oh, the sushi is here, I want to eat in peace...where did PEACE go?  Oh yeah, it vanished about three hours after he was born six and half years ago NEVER to return) and then a quiet "I'm sorry sister, I won't tear my hat up again if you promise not to tear up my teriyaki...mama you should say your sorry and take it back".

I'm sorry.  I take it back.  WAIT just a darn minute...oh well, another hour passes with da creature and no one was seriously injured.  The sushi was fantastic and the teriyaki is still slowly digesting in his tummy and all is right with the universe again.  She has custody of the hat and hopefully he'll not tear it up again.  Such is life in our crazy world these days.  Never a friggin' dull moment. 

I'd pay good money for some dull.

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